Overcoming Fears and Risks to do the Right Thing
Time for governments and the oil and gas industry to make the honest choice of green energy
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Hello Friends: This issue is about taking risks to do the right thing — even if it is something as challenging as shifting from black to green energy production or something that’s personally terrifying. Here’s my story about getting off the couch to do the right thing despite the risks and my many fears.
I’m not brave or adventurous enough to be a drug mule. After collecting my bag at Johannesburg’s O. R. Tambo International Airport baggage claim, I pretended to be unable to find my way to the Customs and Immigration area like a nervous drug mule. I was afraid to leave the safety of the airport, and not just because Johannesburg is reputed to be one of the world’s most dangerous cities. I suddenly experienced an overwhelming anxiety about spending the next 70 days traveling on my own in Africa and Europe.
College football was to blame for my situation. I’d spent all of New Year’s Day 2008 mindlessly watching college football bowl games until I dragged myself off the couch for a walk. It was a cold night that came with a startlingly clear insight: No matter the personal risk or cost I had to do everything possible to alert people to the dangers of climate change and other environmental crises.
“Really? This is what I have to do?” I remember saying loudly to the dark, empty streets and star-filled sky. The answer was like a bone-deep bell ringing with certainty that it was.
Doubts and fears followed quickly and I asked again: “Really? Really? Do I have to?” The certainty that this was the right thing for me to do was as sharply clear as that cold January evening.
No one was pushing me to take a 70-day reporting trip. I didn’t have many article assignments, and would likely end up thousands of dollars out of pocket and have to put our house up for sale. Nevertheless, the six key environmental conferences I wanted to write about were important and few, in any others, would be reporting on them.
And now, on day one, I wanted to run back home. For a good 20 minutes I dug around in my bags looking for nothing. There was no wifi, nor did my phone have any service, but I intently stared at them while standing on legs of jello.
Aware that the machine-gun carrying guards were watching, I finally joined the line to go through customs. When others lined up behind me, I stepped back, the courteous Canadian traveller: “Oh please go ahead of me, I’m in no rush”.
Meanwhile, sweating profusely, I was furiously thinking how to avoid leaving the safety of the airport. And then there was just me and the guards. I stepped up to the customs officials with a strained smile, but hoping there might be a problem with my passport or my luggage would be torn apart but I was casually waved through.…
Timidly entering the busy public arrivals hall I began to recall the clarity of purpose that came to me on that cold New Year’s night. There was a bone-deep certainty this was the right place to be no matter how miserably fearful I felt right then. “Must I really do this?” I asked myself knowing the answer.
It was an incredible trip in terms of the people I met, experiences and the articles I was able to write. It marked the beginning of a new chapter in my personal and professional life. Bad things did happen. There were paralyzing set backs, illness, and my life was at risk more than once. I was right to be fearful and anxious. And I was right to leave the airport terminal and to do what I knew I had to.
I’m not a big risk-taker. I put countless hours and sleepless nights into planning that trip, trying to anticipate what might go wrong. As my departure date loomed, I wanted to cancel but knew I’d be disgusted with myself and miserable if I did. Business as usual was no longer an option given the multiple crises we are facing. And that meant leaving my safe, well-worn path.
Doing the right thing for the right reasons often involves risks, uncertainty, challenges, and setbacks. It also brings a range of co-benefits, including ones both unexpected and unimaginable.
This brings me to a disappointing new report this week. It documents how our governments have given more taxpayers’ money to the oil and gas industry this year. Our public health and educational sectors are in desperate need of more funding, and millions of individuals and small businesses are enduring economic hardship. Unfortunately we Need-to-Know that some of the world’s richest companies have received enormous amounts of additional public funding in 2020.
I don’t want to talk about this perverse situation, other than to point out two Need-to-Know findings in the report:
US $233 billion of COVID-19 recovery funds ended up in the pockets of the fossil fuel industry
Canada was the worst offender
Read the G20 Scorecard on Fossil Fuel Funding summary for yourself. It’s from a very reputable apolitical organization: The International Institute for Sustainable Development.
Outrage is a normal reaction to all this. It’s certainly my reaction. But I don’t want to be filled with outrage any more. It’s exhausting and unproductive. I’ve written many articles previously about perverse subsidies that reward companies with public monies while they wreck our climate, oceans, forests and so on. I don’t know what else to do about it. Maybe you have some thoughts?
I’ve told you about my long trip to offer an example of how taking risks to do the right thing — even if it is difficult and challenging like making the transition from black to green energy production — is worth doing on many levels. Not acting on what you know is right out of fear or uncertainty deprives you of so many wonderful opportunities and experiences, including ones unexpected and previously unimagined. There’s also immense satisfaction in overcoming difficult situations, learning new skills and using your abilities in new ways. And there is no feeling like knowing you are doing the right thing. That’s a big Need-to-Know.
On your next walk feel the joy of being outside, and try to be open to any insight or subtle hint about what the right thing is for you. See if you can feel the certainty of this. It’s a rare experience, and one that comes unbidden as the poets say. But when it comes, when it is clearly obvious what you should be doing, take the steps to act on it. Acknowledge and accept fears and doubts. It will likely be risky. It will be difficult. But when you know it is the right thing to do, there is no other honest choice but to act.
Until next time, stay safe.
Stephen