How to have meaningful but stress-free conversations over the holidays
How can I have a good conversation with family and friends about what’s going on in the world? With our planet? With our lives?
I’ve found that it has become harder and harder to have these conversations. So I looked for some advice and found it from psychologist Renee Lertzman, who started Project InsideOut.
Her advice in a few words:
Start with listening. Pay attention to your experience. Breathe.
Renee’s main point is we have to start inside ourselves to be able to have effective and fruitful conversations with others. Here’s a how-to example:
If you want to talk to someone about climate change, you can’t start by citing facts or the Need-to-Know’s that you get from me. Nor can you dump your worries on them.
Instead, focus mainly on asking questions and listening. Notice your own triggers and how you react to what the other person is saying. Try to stay open and curious.
Keep in mind that we are all trying to navigate complex challenges both inside ourselves, in our families and daily life, and in the world at large.
No one has all the right answers.
We all need honest, grounded, and compassionate conversations across diverse perspectives. It’s not easy, but it’s only when we truly listen that we find common ground.
The ability to have conversations and group discussions that are productive and “safe” is the basis for doing things together, including climate action.
Renee recommends this 4-minute video aimed at high school students. I call it the How to talk about climate change by not talking about climate change video.
It’s not easy to put these ideas into practice, but they work.
I hope you enjoy the holiday season and many fruitful conversations!
Until next time. Be well.
Stephen